Comparison is the Thief of Joy

A while back, Tom (Trax Gym/ Krav Maga instructor) gifted me a keyring with the slogan ‘Comparison is the Thief of Joy’. This resonated with me for a few different reasons, not least because of where I was with writing ‘The Voodoo Room’.

In my first draft of this blog post, I focussed on how the writing process of ‘The Voodoo Room’ differed from ‘Care & Control’.

Suffice to say, the process for ‘Care & Control’ was intense. The first draft erupted from my head onto the page in a fortnight. Emotionally, I was wrecked. I barely slept and ate little. I went to work but my focus was on getting back in front of my laptop to continue writing. My mind was fixed on my characters and their world.

‘The Voodoo Room’ hit differently. I’d made a pact with myself not to start writing until I’d taken my Inspector’s Exam, so I used those Saturday ‘Fight ‘n’ Write’ sessions to start planning out the story and developing the characters.

When I finally sat down to my laptop that night in November 2024, gazing out across Glasgow’s skyline, I felt strangely calm. I wrote with a different kind of energy, not the same frenzied kind that drove ‘Care & Control’ out of my head and onto the page.

Chris likens the two books to a pair of Tori Amos albums ‘Little Earthquakes’ and ‘Boys for Pele’: both great in their own right but very different albums all the same. ‘Care & Control’ is the equivalent of ‘Little Earthquakes’, the kick-starter.  ‘The Voodoo Room’ takes after ‘Boys for Pele’, which is described as weirder, braver but creatively incredible (I’ll let you decide in due course whether the latter can be said for ‘The Voodoo Room’!).

For the second draft of the post, I decided to go deeper. The last couple of months have felt pretty uncomfortable. I’ve been in limbo waiting to see if any of the agents I’ve submitted to would offer me representation (no luck so far). My social media feeds have also been full of writers who are launching new works and attending prestigious events, often with the weight of their agents and/or publishers behind them.

I don’t begrudge other people’s success, so please don’t think otherwise. Rather, I tend to hold myself up to their example and ask, “Why isn’t this happening for me yet? What am I doing wrong? What should I be doing to get there?”

This is the crux of the problem.

Sometimes, my focus drifts too much into comparison; healthy ambition tips into an unhealthy need for external validation. I start to lose sight of my achievements so far and forget to enjoy the process. As a result, the journey becomes less joyful and more like a gritty slog to whatever summit I’ve set myself, reasonable or not. This has definitely been a pattern during my career, one that I’ve been breaking away from over the last few years.

So, I’m focussing on having better internal monologues and reminding myself of all the achievements so far, plus the exciting adventures afoot (more on that in days to come!). I’m also fortunate to have some very good people around me who can spot when I’m giving myself too hard a time and ground me back into the good stuff!

I’ll make one last comparison.

‘Care & Control’ was the excited rush to the finish-line, a process that went at such neck-breaking speed I barely remember it. A little (OK, a lot!) unhealthy, maybe, but that’s what needed to happen. I love that book, and I loved sharing it with you.

‘The Voodoo Room’ is more grounded and deliberate. It goes a little deeper than its feisty older brother in its own quiet way. I love it, I’m nervous as hell to share it with you (just like I was when I released ‘Care & Control’) but I know I’ll be glad once it’s out there for you to enjoy.

I had to get these thoughts down as a bit of accountability for myself, a reminder to enjoy the process as well as the destination. Scarcity is often manufactured by the status quo to create elitism and division. I believe in the abundance of opportunity, spaces at the tables I want to be sat at.

Your success isn’t my failure. My success isn’t your failure. There’s enough for all of us.

Comparison is the thief of joy, indeed.

Pretty profound, those Trax Gym keyrings 😉